ISFD N 41
Language and Written Expression IV
Name of Student: Maria Andrea Fares
Mate's Name: Rodrigo Alvarenga
Paragraph One:
"Immigration: Borders Beyond Control"
International Migration has recently become one of the main concerns that now seize the attention of politicians and intellectuals across the world, as it is becoming increasingly difficult to control in the light of the economic crisis. In the case of most Western countries, most immigrants come from very poor countries such as Paraguay, Bolivia, and Cuba. The United States of America is one of the Western countries that exhibited a greater concern on this regard and consequently, applied extremely hard migration laws to prevent this kind of immigration, as they manifested to be experiencing serious illegal labour claims due to the employment of illegal immigrants. In the case of the Eastern countries, most immigrants arrive from emerging countries, such as Mexico, Brazil, and Argentina. On its part, Israel is the Eastern country that offered the biggest amount of opportunities for immigrants, thus fostering the entry of potential qualified skilled workers. On the contrary case, Australia received severe condemnation worldwide last summer when a special envoy of the UN commissioner for human rights exposed the deplorable conditions in detention camps that held asylum seekers who had landed in Australia. As local economies are becoming victims of the worldwide crisis, immigration is now being seen as a threat for the governments of many countries across the world.
Paragraph TWO:
"Immigration: Borders Beyond Control"
International Migration has recently become one of the main concerns that now seize the attention of politicians and intellectuals across the world, as it is becoming increasingly difficult to control in the light of the economic crisis. In the case of most Western countries, most immigrants come from very poor countries such as Paraguay, Bolivia, and Cuba. The United States of America is one of the Western countries that exhibited a greater concern on this regard and consequently, applied extremely hard migration laws to prevent this kind of immigration. At the same time, they manifested to be experiencing serious illegal labour claims due to the employment of illegal immigrants. In the case of the Eastern countries, most immigrants arrive from emerging countries, such as Mexico, Brazil, and Argentina. On its part, Israel is the Eastern country that offered the biggest magnitude of opportunities for immigrants, thus stimulating the arrival of potential experienced workers. On the contrary case, Australia received severe condemnation worldwide last summer when a special envoy of the UN commissioner for human rights exposed the deplorable conditions in detention camps that held asylum seekers who had landed in Australia. As local economies are becoming victims of the worldwide crisis, immigration is now being seen as a threat for the governments of many countries across the world.
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
ResponderEliminarIn my opinion the topic sentence and the body are very clear.
ResponderEliminarI think that Qualified and skilled are synonyms in this case. I would write just one word.
I do not think it would be necessary to correct something else.